March 20 .. The first day of spring.

It is snowing. We received another 4 inches last night.

Cian, my four year old started crying on his way to school this morning. He told me that his teacher had lied to him. That she told him that today was the first day of spring. He did not understand why he shoudl be subjected to wearing his winter coat and being cold in the car while I scrapped of the ice from the wind shield if it was indeed the first day of spring.

Last year at this time it was pretty warm out. In fact, there was a paper stuck in a book that I was reading on this day last year, that reminded me of how expectations, like the one Cian had about what it meant that today was the first day of spring, can sometimes be disappointing.

This day last year Dean and I were in Cleveland. The paper found in the book was the list of appointments that Dean and I went through that day at the Cleveland Clinic. There were scans. This was the last “good scan” he would receive. Scans that showed that the cancer was still being held in check. After these “good scans” every thing would change.

Expectations.

Expectations on the cusp of spring last year were so different than this year. Good scans meant smoother sailing. Only, I must have known, for no more than a month after these scans I resigned my teacher position to be more present at home.

Expectations.

Dean and I had a lot at one time. We were going to wait until the children were of Kindergarten age before diving back into things like hiking, and camping, and finally getting those kayaks and canoes. We were waiting on the expectation that when they were a little older things would be easier for travel and fun.

Expectations

That there would always be more time to handle — well, everything. That there would always be another day, that …. well, that we had to wait for more money, for older children, for a better job, for nicer weather, for…for…for….

Expectations.

Between last year March 20 and this year March 20 I have learned that waiting on the perfect set of expectations is a totally bogus way to live ones life.

It is snowing, there is 4 more inches when I really would like there to be flowers. But, I also was able to see the most amazing rays of sun shining straight up from the middle of the sky on my way to work this morning. I took the time to stop, enjoy, and pop off a cell phone photo of the sky. I took the time to send it to a friend.

Last night there were 7 people in QiQong class at the new studio space and 6 people for Reiki Healing Circle. Diving in to what I know I like to do and am being called to do without a real expectation on what to expect — and AMAZING RESULTS.

Follow your bliss. Yes, be responsible. But, follow your bliss. Follow everything you know the Divine inside your heart and soul is telling you that you are able to be and accomplish.

YOU are responsible for YOU!

Expectations.

Last year at this time, well, good scans and Dean and I though, well, we had time. Time to say things, time to take the kids places, time …. even when things look good — even then the rug has not been pulled out — BE WHO YOU ARE NOW! SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY NOW! LIVE NOW!

Time is NOW. TODAY.

Today, I will say I love you and mean it.
Today, I will notice beauty and give myself permission to have the time to enjoy.
Today, I will take time to pray for myself and others.
Today, I will remember to listen.
Today, I will remember each and every millisecond is a gift.
Today, I will be me.

First Day of Spring