Live in your Strength

This past week has been interesting for me. I have done two of three scheduled photo sessions, taught the normal QiQong and Reiki classes, managed to get myself to the gym and keep most of the training schedule, deal with about two feet of newly fallen snow as well as temperatures that travel into the lower teens as highs (YEAH for neighbors with snow blowers!), help with college scheduling as Michael’s terms are switching soon, high school graduation preparations, found out both older boys have wisdom teeth issues, all day swim meets, my part-time job as a disabled attendant, a five year old with the flu, Spirit Circle cancellation because of weather (you realize how much you look forward to something when it leaves a big gaping hole when it isn’t there one week), and the daunting task (at least for me) of going through the pile of envelopes and papers and bills, and insurance stuff, and getting things ready for taxes, and preparations and plans for the studio opening giving me a permanent place to teach ……. I could go on and on … you get the idea.

Really, though, it is life. I look at that list and realize, really .. that is just life. So, why does it have to get so overwhelming some days? Why does the normal questioning and bantering of students, friends and children turn into more than what it should? Why are there some days when others’ anxiety and issues seems to affect us more and make our own feel insurmountable? Why are there some days that it seems we are a list of obligations and nothing more .. when really, we are so much more.

I was in the middle of crashing yesterday. Really. I could feel it .. the feeling that it would be better to crawl under the covers and pretend there was nothing beyond their warm and fuzziness. I cannot even tell you what really triggered the feeling … everything I guess. I had lots of questions about what I was doing and experiencing. Lots of feeling weighted down by the week. The going and going and not leaving any room for self. It occurred to me that other times I had felt that way I could talk myself into circles while Dean listened – or half listened 🙂 — and I know I have been having trouble finding an option to that kind of release and refocusing.

I was sent this link .. to a song I hadn’t heard before … my friend said she woke up humming it, and she realized it was because she was to share it with me. I will put the lyrics at the bottom just in case you cannot see the video.

The song is a mix of me speaking to myself … it is hearing other voices from the past and present.

“Though the truth may vary
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore”

Things change … but the truth of who we are, that is not going to change. Remembering to be who we are despite all of the challenges and obligations and distractions that get sent our way — the ship, Spirit, will always be sure we are safe .. that we get Home.

Then later in the day a friend called, we spent an hour just chatting about whatever .. just reconnected and it was great just to talk and to listen. A ridiculously simple thing that does so much to ground and reconnect. Galen started to feel better and ate a good dinner. AND I went off to teach QiQong and the second part of Reiki I class. What an experience to be with people that would like to be well and to exercise and meditate with them. What an experience to be with a group of people that have asked Spirit to step into their lives on a new level and experience healing in a new way and to start to learn how to share that healing with others. I received messages of gratitude and saw tears of cleansing and overwhelming.

Then somehow, I was able to articulate the incredible angst of the early part of the day and how it unfolded into beauty as the evening went on to another friend who sent me another song/poem about being interconnected —

This is just part of it. It is entitled Lateralus by Tool

“Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.”

I started out titling this entry LIVE YOUR STRENGTH. It was on my tea bag this morning. If yesterday reminded me of nothing else, it is that I am certainly connected to some people. Three stepped forward, without even knowing it and gave me exactly what I needed to refocus. (Try and tell me the Divine Creator isn’t whispering in our ears when our friends need us) Refocusing allowed me to connect with students last night in class, and with my children last night. (They were not sleeping yet when I got home, and Lloyd just got home from swim meet and the four of us finished off a movie .. past bedtime, before turning in. Simple, against the ‘rules’ and beautiful.

My strength? Those that are connected to me. My strength? Understanding that it only through Divine that I can accomplish anything. My strength? Not discounting those connections yesterday, and the roll Spirit played in making that happen. My strength? Teaching others — sharing, living the best I can despite feeling thrown back like early yesterday … admitting I am not perfect and working on that every day.

JUST FOR TODAY.. find your own strength.
JUST FOR TODAY… share your strength with others.
JUST FOR TODAY…allow others to share their strength with you.
Observe, Listen, be YOU, Breathe. 

As promised the words to LITTLE TALKS video above:
“Little Talks”