Yes, It is.

Tomorrow by Calander date Dean left for Spirit one year ago.

Today, by sheer feel it has been one year. My brain seems to remember progression of how things went during a particular week. Wednesday night I stayed with him in his hospital bed … Thursday he left. Friday morning after arrangements were made I was driven by a wonderful friend to my grandfather’s funeral.

I woke up remembering words I wrote after Dean passed. I woke remembering the feel of everything that day. I just went back and reread …..
http://theinstaurationofbreathing.blogspot.com/2012/09/safe-journey.html

There is a theory I have heard many times that says things get easier once you have gone though each and every part of the calendar once without a loved one that has passed. My gift has been to know that Dean hasn’t missed any of those special dates. This morning, even as words from a year ago flooded my brain it was possible to feel the overwhelming love that our friends and family are able to send to us. The mission for us is not to struggle through all those emotions, but to allow them to flow, allow them to release so that we understand the love.

Through Dean’s illness and even for a very large span of time after he passed outwardly showing any type of emotions other than a well adjusted individual was crazy hard for me to do, and I think it probably is for a lot of people. The balance though, is to recognize what is going on inside our human form and allow it to be released safely to really be healthy and to be able to really take in what Spirit has to offer.

I had a very sweet lady sit with me for a reading recently. Her question was about finding love “again”. At that moment her husband that had passed of lung cancer 10 years ago came through to speak with her. I received images from him of his illness, of his daughter, her career now, trinkets in the house and such incredible love for the woman sitting in front of me. The most incredible thing (for me)was that I was the one in tears. Her husband almost was not able to speak with her that day because there were emotions in me, feelings and walls put up in myself. Allowing myself to feel and erasing those walls allowed Spirit to bring this woman such a beautiful gift of love and hope.

There are a lot of you out there that have sent little messages during this month and especially this week. I am grateful for all the love you have shared. The last year has certainly been an incredible learning and growing experience for not only me but this family.

A friend told me a couple months ago that in every tragedy there is a miracle. I totally believe that is true. I watched that miracle unfold each and every time I sit with someone for a reading and each and every time I am with someone for a healing. I watch that miracle each and every time I look into my children’s faces and see them smiling and happy. I watch that miracle unfold in the tiny little day to day things that are so beautiful and often overlooked. I feel that miracle in that love I felt sent to me this morning. None of which would be possible for me on the level it is now without the experience of illness, despair and passing and learning how to work through it all to find a new balance.

Embrace EVERY moment. Every single one allows for growth and love. Don’t hide from what you are feeling. Embrace it, learn from it, release what is not needed. There is ONLY forward.

In the words of Douglas Adams: “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

 

Yes, It is.