This weekend I had some choices to make.

This past Saturday, the 27th, marked 10 months since Dean crossed over into Spirit.

This past Saturday was also a time in which many former classmates arrived into town in celebration of 25 years of life after high school. There were people I wanted to see … honestly since Dean and I graduated the same class I was having trouble wrapping my brain around seeing them alone.

This weekend I chose to attend a Master Peng QiQong workshop developing in meditation and learning a new practice set, spend the evenings/overnight at Lilydale and being with a few new friends. Something for ME.

While I was away there seemed to be a theme to the weekend. In fact… at one point, in the dark, during a rain I decided to puddle splash while others looked on and smiled, Tim Brainard stopped and asked what I was doing in the rain. My friend Erin had found a little dining tent put up with a couple of picnic tables under it and Tim sat with us a while and told us stories. Stories solidifying the weekend’s theme of BE YOURSELF.

“Say who you are.” “BE YOU!”

Knowing that are no coincidences I have taken what Tim stopped to share to heart.
I really thought I had been doing a pretty good of being myself lately. In fact another friend of mine expressed to me not to long ago that this is something that I have taught her in the past few months. She relayed a story about how things in the house and with people around me and situations seemed to be totally out of control fairly soon after Dean had passed. I do not remember the whole discussion but I guess the topic came up as to what I was going to do to take care of all those things. I guess I told her those things were not up to me .. that I did not need to fix them since it was other people’s issue. I guess I was a bit of a potty mouth about it and told her that I did not give a fuck what other people thought since in the grand scheme of things it really did not matter. She said she took that to heart and made adjustments in her own life that has allowed stress to minimize in her life.

I am glad she told me that story. Has made me try even harder to remember to just be me, since in that instance it helped someone else.

Sometimes it is admittedly hard as we each seem to be in a sea of labels:

We all have labels.

Labels are a condition of the human condition. Labels are restrictive because of the inadequacies of human language. 

We are LOVE.

We are expressions of Divine. Each of us a bit of a different expression … on the road to knowledge and realization of that Love that has been placed in each and every one of us at the very moment of creation.

Realizing that … knowing that our uniqueness is what helps spur the learning and knowledge train for all of us seeking Universal development and unity with the Divine that connects us all .. how can any of us even try to be anything that we are not meant to be?

There are no obstacles for trueness. What one needs will be there. The opportunities, the people, the situations, and eventually the realization that in the total UNDERSTANDING that when we are who we really are and NOT try and fit into any kind of mold … UNDERSTAND that we will have not only what we WANT but what we NEED for everything when we KNOW that all is possible.

Faith of a MUSTARD SEED.


Belief of a MUSTARD SEED.

Faith is a KNOWING.
Belief is an OPINION.

I KNOW that I will be able to support my family through Healing work and teaching and Ministry work and teaching is TOTALLY different than if I would say “maybe” or “believe”.

I KNOW I am more than the labels. Especially the Widow label. Some of the labels I am fond of, really … but none of them really, really express who I am. Only I know, really if I am staying true to that and the path that I have developed with Divine Spirit.

When talking and interacting with others I realize that only they know as well. Why judgement is no ridiculous. Realizing the LOVE and the DIVINE spark that each of us have will allow interaction without judgement, without prejudice and with a love for all.

Finding who we really are and who we really want to be may take some time, meditation and prayer.

The trick is — NOW. Taking JUST TODAY and being you.
JUST TODAY taking time to practice and train.
JUST TODAY meditating.
JUST TODAY remembering to LOVE.
JUST TODAY choose to be HAPPY.
JUST TODAY ….. the Universe really does not understand Tomorrow or Yesterday.

10 months. 25 years. NOW!