Eleven

Today was Galen’s first day of Kindergarten. He was so very excited to go. Excited for a whole new adventure.

Today is also the 11 month anniversary of his daddy transitioning to Spirit.

Today was the first time since two days before Dean left for Spirit that I heard his voice. Audible. Clear. And even with all I know, all I believe, all I have read and the training received I thought for a bit I may be going a little crazy.

There have many things that have happened around this house and through the kids and of course through messages from other mediums that have always allowed me to know that Dean is indeed very well “on the other side”.

I have had babysitters call me when they see the mouse moving at the computer on its own or the computer turning itself on wondering what to do. My response is always, just say “Hi” — I am sure he is just hanging with the kids. I have felt his physical touch on his birthday this past June and often know when his energy is surrounding me and the children. The kids often say things, find toads at the most unexplained moments (Dean’s calling card) and remind me every day that their Daddy does indeed watch out for them. Until today, however, I had not heard his voice.

Dean barely spoke my name. We knew each other growing up and when he would he would often fall into “Jenny” which he knew I had shed in the process of finding me instead of the little girl. There are a few that still call me my childhood nickname, but not many. He would often say “Dear”. An endearment to be sure, but also a way to be respectful of my “grown up” name which he never became totally accustomed.

Today I heard both. “Jenny, you are going to be all right. Dear, you ARE all right.”

There have been a lot of changes lately around here. Michael transferred colleges and switched majors, Lloyd has started college, Galen has entered the realm of the “big kids” by attending Elementary school and Cian has moved up to the very grown up “pre-K” room. We have a new kitten that brings a TON of energy into the house. My work at church and the studio keeps growing and encompassing more and more in terms of working with people and people’s individual needs: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Lately I have found myself in ways that even 5 years ago I probably never dreamed possible. I have new relationships and people in my life that inspire, encourage and bring in love and friendship that I would not have now if it were not for the rocky road that was traveled.

We are the sum of our experiences and what we choose to do with those experiences and lessons. We are also who we are right here and right now. Right now means MORE than anything else. What we do with the moment, how we feel the moment, how we Love in this moment and how we BREATHE in the moment.

There have been a lot of moments lately, despite all the constant changes, that I have been happier than I have been in a long time. Things are going well. Crazy, fast paced and sometimes cause great wonder but overall, well. I suppose there may have been a twinge of guilt wrapped up in that happy feeling. Hard to keep any guilt when one’s greatest cheerleader and supporter is still doing so from the other side of life.