Dean’s mother and I stayed with Dean most of the day. About 4:30 the Michael and Lloyd came to be with Dean and Dean’s mom left to run some errands. I promised to call if anything changed.
A little after 5 my parents and my sister brought Galen and Cian into the room with Dean. I had struggled and struggled with allowing them to come. There were many people that said it was not the place for them. Something made me ask one more nurse what she thought … and she said if they were coming now would be the time. So they came.
They jumped around the room, they ate any treats that had been left around, they drew their daddy pictures. They were in the room when My parents’ pastor, Father Bill came and asked if it would be all right to pray and offer last rights. I offered the bottle of holy water I still had from our trip to the healing shrine when he was first diagnosed and with which I had already placed on Dean upon arrival to the nursing home. He accepted and used it as part of the prayer. As part of the little service everyone took part and laid hands on Dean. As part of the service I was asked if I was ready to let him go so that he could journey Home. I said that I was and I read the prayer that offered and solidified that release.
Dean became increasingly agitated during the prayer service, and when it was done I asked my parents to take the little ones home. Having Galen and Cian in the room was the only time all day that I saw Dean smile. They were noisy, and all over the place…and he smiled.
Everyone left except Michael and Lloyd and we were just quiet with him for a long time. His breathing got a bit more labored and at one point they were going to try and suction him some to help with breathing, but Dean would not let them.
Dean’s sister came some time after that, and Michael and Lloyd thought they would go for a while and call later for when to come back. They each said goodbye to Dean and I told him that the kids were leaving.
His breathing then changed. I asked his sister to go and ask the nurse when he was going to have more medicine, and I then sat on the bed with him rubbing his chest and holding his hand .. he slowly calmed, I allowed Spirit to flow through both of us I left my hand on his chest … He left for Home less than 5 minutes after the last of the children left the room. He loved them enough that he wanted each of the four there and loved them even more to wait until each of the four left before he then left. He loved me enough to allow me to be the one to hold him one last time. He always, always told me that actions were more powerful than any words he could say. What an example.
Dean,
Through highschool you were always there for extra fun, and lots of laughs.
You picked me up when I was totally broken 14 years ago. You loved me and my children, never treating them like they were not your very own. You always gave me exactly who you were and never, ever expected me to be anything I was not.
Seven years ago we married. Again, we did it our own way, and I am glad we have those memories … we added to our family… we made plans for lots and lots of years.
Two years ago the bottom started to fall out. You never stopped fighting. You never stopped thinking that there may be a way to keep all those plans. You allowed me to grow through your own pain. You showed more love tonight in waiting for each of your children than I could ever express back to you if I were given ten lifetimes. It is your time to grow, it is your time to be everything Spirit has to offer. I love you. Thank you for coming home from your search. This would have been so much more terrible if you had not. Tell Saint Uriel and Saint Michael hi for me. I am sure they made sure you made it safe. Loving you always. Jenn