Anyone that knows me well at all will know that I really watch the type of programing my children watch, especially if it is in any way violent.
I learned my lesson as a young mother with my older two boys. I love the superhero shows and at that time there were many on in a animated format. So, of course if it is animated it should be alright for children … sadly, no. I found the two totally acting out what they were seeing on TV and I stopped my own superhero watching until they were old enough to understand the story line better and I could talk to them about fiction vs real life.
I do not block off the kids from life, though and whey come into contact with children every day at school that know all about Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Wolverine and on and on. I have found that through talking with other kids and such that my 4 and 5 year old understand the powers each has and which ones do good and which ones are not so good. I allowed Galen to be Spiderman for Halloween and he was extremely happy. So, yesterday when they found my DVD of Spiderman, I caved. I figured if I watched it with them and was able to explain what was going on and such that maybe it would be alright.
Both Cian and Galen had loads of questions — but especially Cian. Now in addition to flying he would like to have superhero powers. He would like me to find the ‘real’ Spiderman and not the ‘pretend’ Spiderman for him to talk to about how he got his superpowers. He wants to be able to have powers and help people and be a superhero.
“How far is New York, Mommy? Can we go there and find Spiderman?”
Right about the same time Cian was asking these questions Uncle Ben dies from a gunshot wound and Peter Parker goes after the bad guy in his ‘pretend’ Spiderman costume.
Galen starts to cry. He relates this scene to his Daddy and tells me that it is time for Daddy to come home, that he has been away long enough. That he does not want him to go away forever like Uncle Ben.
Cian: “But Galen, Daddy is in Spirit, you can still talk to him”
Galen: “I want him to be home.”
Yeah.
There are no words, I had no words. Just holding the little guy as he cried and then fell asleep soon afterwards before he got to see the green goblin he wanted to see Spiderman get. I guess I was not the only one yesterday having an emotional type of day. I am glad he is releasing. I am glad he is telling me what it is that is making him sad. This is a huge step, really. Before Galen was just prone to fits of kicking and/or hitting and noone would know why … for him to voice what is on his mind is HUGE. That he was crying instead of being angry is HUGE. That after he was able to get out his emotions he was relaxed enough to sleep is a great lesson to us all who lie awake at night with a million worries on our mind.
Now I just need to find the ‘real’ Spiderman to explain how to get superpowers and a pixi to aid in flying lessons and both little ones will be able to rest easy 🙂 Although I am pretty sure Cian already has superpowers since he was the one that found the words last night to try and calm his brother in the midst of a grief spell and his mother had nothing.
Forever learning from my children.