Have you ever noticed how people are put into your life right at the right time and for the right reasons? Like they KNEW that it was time for them to just call or be there?
You know that little voice in your head that “nags” you until you do soemthing like call or check up on someone — or send a text, or a note or picture or even just to light a candle and say an extra prayer.
That little voice … we are all connected. The God that created each and every thing left presence and breath in each and every little thing. We are connected. When we are still, when we pay attention … that song on the radio that reminded of you of something, that was not an accident.
It was Divine saying “HEY!, there is something that you need to do, something important.”
Or “HEY!, Do you think you could sit with me a while? You have not done that much lately.”
Or “HEY!, I have not forgotten about you, and this reminder is to help you do something or help you connect with somehting that will help you with what it is you have been praying about, or something I noticed that you have not yet thought to pray about.”
God’s helpers are all around us. Guiding, Helping, Seeing and Speaking with us.
We need to listen.
It seems that as of late right when my emotions seem to be taking a dive in terms of controlling, I get a call – or a text – or an invitation. I am so very blessed to have so many around me that actually pay attention. Those that actually follow through on that gentle “nagging”.
Even with that, I sometimes feel incredibly alone lately. I have a ton to do, today I had a list a mile long of papers, and photo disk making, and lesson plans for Saturday’s Reiki II class, and the last round of thank you notes to get into the mail, to laundry and regular house chores. Staying busy does not always keep the mind from wondering, and it does not fix that there is no one here to talk to while I am doing my million things.
Even when Dean and I were both working full time we were computer connected. There was a chat box and even if we were both too busy during the day to sit and “chat” much the name always appeared on my screen, a constant reminder that there was someone very connected to me. I have not even turned on the chat box in the last 6 weeks … does not even appear on my computer. Just does not seem necessary now … and yet, as I found out earlier today, there are other people that also feel a bit isolated and a good chat may be the thing for them.
Ever notice how it is so much easier to help other people with their own insecurities, issues and let another talk than it is to deal with your own? Actually other people and helping them can be a great distraction to your own issues and even help put them into prospective.
Yet one more way in which we are connected. Carrie texed earlier and asked if I would like to come over for salad for lunch. This was perfect in more ways than one. First, I was feeling down this morning before her text, second I have been watching even more than regular what I am eating so a salad was an awesome suggestion, third I took it as a sign that she was being “nagged.” So, I went. We had a wonderful conversation. Seems we both needed a bit of a chat, a little unloading and refocusing.
One of the things she said though at least three times in different contexts — especially when I said I really, really just wanted to be able to get away from here for a while — and that is to do what feels right for me. That no one else really needs to give me permission or understand. Just to feel what I needed to feel and do what I needed to do and if I was true to that then everything would work out as it should. Yeah. Doesn’t that work with everything though and not life changing and reevaluating times? And it sounds so very, very simple.
Why do we make that very simple thing so very hard. Why does it matter sometimes that we want to be sure the whole world is OK and protected because of our decision to help and better ourselves? Unless we are planning something completely evil … or unless we are really, really going against our true nature, everything should work out.
Maybe it is because this is a similar conversation Dean and I had about his treatments that has me leery. There is what is right for the individual that is concerned and then there is what is right for what needs to be done for family in one’s care. Do they have to be two different things?
My challenge is to find that “middle ground”. I am really beginning to think it would help all of us to be able to just detach from reality for a while — not long … just a short break. One that won’t wreak too much havoc with the teaching schedule. Maybe after the holiday season when the dark of winter feels like a tomb. Not sure how or where — but I am sure that will come to me when it is time. Leaving it in the category of “dream” right now. Dreaming of a place where no shadows fall. (Yep, a very fitting Babylon 5 reference)
Don’t be afraid to find your own “middle ground”. We all need to be ourselves. How are we to learn what we are to learn on this earth if we continue to be someone we really are not? Don’t be afraid to act on the inner “naggings” of your heart. Each time I pay attention to those I learn something new, or help someone in a way I never thought was possible.
LISTEN
BREATHE
DREAM
BE YOURSELF — no one else can.